Gleedazzled
by Grdnofevrythng
Summary: Rachel would do anything to be with Quinn. Anything. I know this is listed as Faberry, but the majority the interaction is between Rachel and Santana, mentions of Fabrevans, and a tiny bit of Brittana.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is an old fic of mine that used to only be posted on my lj. I'm not moving all of my old stuff onto here, but the things I think are worth it will be moved. I hope you'll enjoy it all the same. **

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Rachel Berry's eyes followed Quinn Fabray and Sam Evans as they grinned at each other during their duet. She tried to focus on the pitch problems they were both suffering from and the overall lackluster performance of her fellow glee clubbers in general, but she couldn't look away. Every time the blonde smiled up at her cliche of a boyfriend, Rachel's heart broke a little more.

"Um Rachel...Rachel?" Mr. Schuester's voice broke through the fog in her mind and she blinked.

Forcing her best smile, she looked over at the curly-haired teacher. "Yes, Mr. Schuester?"

"I asked if you had anything you'd like to add to discussion or do you agree that we may have found a final song for Regionals?" He asked, his brow furrowing in concern.

Rachel could feel all eyes on her and she looked around quickly, her dark eyes settling on Quinn's hopeful face, at least Rachel hoped it was hope that she saw flickering across the blonde's expression. She bit her lip and turned her attention back to Mr. Schuester. "I think...that with more work and perhaps some coaching from me, we could definitely add it to our Regionals' portfolio." She could feel more than see the group take a collective sigh of relief. She chose to believe that it was one of acceptance of her years of expertise and not simply because she hadn't gone on a five minute diatribe full of a litany of criticisms.

"Great, then I'll dismiss you guys for the day. Remember to go home and practice, practice, practice. Regionals may be nine weeks away, but that time will go by quickly and we still need to work on choreography and find two more songs. I look forward to hearing your suggestions at the next rehearsal," Mr. Schuester said, turning to speak to Brad, the pianist, for a moment before grabbing his bag as they both headed for the door.

He turned back and looked at Rachel, who'd yet to begin to gather her belongings. "Are you okay, Rachel? You seemed to be a bit out of it during practice today?"

Nodding, Rachel offered him a small, distracted smile. "I've just been thinking that perhaps focusing on what the club is doing correctly instead of listing their faults might go a long way in boosting team morale. We'll see if this proves true next time."

The smile that spread across his face let Rachel know he'd actually bought into what she'd said and she fought the urge to roll her eyes. He stood there awkwardly for a moment before shifting on his oxfords. "Do you...need a ride or anything?"

She shook her head and held up her ever present sheet music. "No, I'm just going to practice a few pieces before heading home." Hoping he would take the hint, she walked over to the piano bench and sat down.

"Well, if you're sure...Just don't stay too late. You know you have to be gone before the night time janitorial staff comes in to clean." He seemed hesitant but made his way back to the door.

"I remember. I promise I won't be too long, Mr. Schuester," she said in her most patient voice.

"All right. Have a good night, Rachel," he said before walking out of the room.

"Beautiful performance," a voice said suddenly, causing Rachel to spin around. Her eyes landed on Santana Lopez and she clutched her chest. "Maybe you will be as great an actress as you think you will be someday," the other girl said, smirking as she strode across to stand near her.

"I'm not sure I understand what you're referring to," Rachel said, her heart pounding in anticipation of whatever form of torture Santana had planned for her.

"Oh relax, RuPaul. I'm just here to talk," the Latina said, leaning against the piano casually. "Boo!" She yelled suddenly, grinning when Rachel let out a yelp of surprise. "You're so jumpy. Why is that?"

Rachel steeled her nerves and scowled. "Well, considering that you've tortured me a good eighty-five percent of my life since the second grade, I'd think I have justifiable cause to be 'jumpy.' Don't you agree?"

Santana chuckled. "Maybe, but today, I'm not here to torture you. Today, I'm here to make all of your wildest dreams come true."

Brows furrowed in confusion, Rachel narrowed her eyes. "I'm afraid I don't understand." This was definitely some sort of trick. Rachel knew better than to trust Santana, especially when she made such grandiose statements.

Hopping onto the piano, Santana laid across it, propping herself up on her left arm. "I know what you desire most in the world, Rachel," she purred, looking over at the tiny brunette with a look that almost paralyzed Rachel from fear though she couldn't figure out why.

"B-B-Big deal. Everyone knows I want to be a Broadway actress rivaled only by the great Bernadette Peters," she stammered, standing from the bench and putting distance between the two.

"Correction, that was what you desired most in the world until you started here two years ago as a freshman. Then what changed?" Santana asked with a knowing smirk.

_She knows!_ was Rachel's first thought before she dismissed it. There was no way Santana knew. Not even her fathers knew and she told them everything. "N-N-Nothing changed," she said, frowning at the uncharacteristic way she was stuttering.

"Oh come on, Berry. There's no need to lie. It's just us in this room. I promise not to tell anyone," Santana said, hopping off of the piano so fast that Rachel didn't even see her move. Suddenly, she was next to the shorter girl, wrapping her arm around her shoulders, and whispering into her ear. "If you don't tell me, how else will I be able to make it happen?"

Rachel's eyes slipped shut and she could feel herself being lulled into a false sense of security. Warning bells rang in her mind and she stepped away quickly. "Look. I don't know what game you're trying to pull, but please just throw the slushy or pull my skirt up or whatever it is you came to do. I'd really like to get this over with so that I can go home."

"I told you. I'm not here to torture you. I'm here to make you an offer." Santana pulled out her emery board and began to buff her nails.

Though suspicious, Rachel was intrigued. "What kind of an offer?"

"The kind you can't refuse," Santana wheezed, doing a surprisingly impressive _Godfather_impersonation.

"Oh God, suddenly I feel like whatever it is you're about to say will make me feel sleazy. Like...I'm selling my soul to the Devil or something." Rachel crossed her arms and looked over at the other girl, waiting for her to continue with whatever scheme she wanted to involve her in.

Smiling, Santana tapped Rachel's nose with the sandpapers wand. "Good because that is exactly what you're about to do."

Rachel blinked and let the words turn over in her mind, trying to make sense of them. "I'm sorry...what?"

"You're about to sell your soul to the Devil," Santana repeated to her as if that clarified the whole thing.

"Right..." Rachel said, dragging out the word as she moved to collect her things. She'd just practice at home. The neighbors would just have to deal with it. "I'm not interested in joining the dark side with whatever Coach Sylvester has sent you to do. I love the glee club, even if all of you don't recognize my true talent and will all one day wish you'd been nicer to me while I live a life most of you could never dream of. I'm not interested in doing anything to destroy that."

"Who said anything about Sue?" Santana challenged, moving in front of her to block her path. "I'm the one you'd be selling your soul to."

Rachel stopped short and looked up at her. "Um..." She tried to formulate a proper response, but she was pretty sure she was having some sort of break with reality. "I'm sorry..._what_? Did you just say that you are Satan and you want me to give you my soul?"

Sighing, Santana rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure what part of this you aren't understanding, Liza. It's not like it's surprising really...I'm the Devil and you're going to sell me your soul...well in exchange for seven wishes."

"Look. I'm not exactly sure what is going on here. You've clearly taken some sort of a spill and bumped your head or maybe I have and this is all some sort of hallucination brought on by a very serious case of head trauma. Or maybe I'm dreaming all of this and you're just a bad dream brought on by sneaking a second piece of vegan pumpkin pie, but either way one of us is delusional. And since I'm not quite sure which one of us it is, I think I'm just going to go now," Rachel said, hurrying away from Santana and out of the room.

The unfortunately familiar icy splash of blue raspberry flavored slushy hit her before she had time to brace herself. She sputtered, clutching her now dripping wet and sticky binder and sheet music to her chest with her left arm while wiping at her eyes with her right hand. She could feel another presence beside her and didn't have to look to know that Santana was standing next to her. She blinked against the sting of high fructose corn-syrup in her eyes and glared.

"I wish you were really the Devil then you could get me something to wear home. I can't walk home like this. I'll freeze!"

"Consider it done," Santana said with a snap of her fingers and then turned around and walked to a nearby freshman girl who was taking her books from her locker. The girl was wearing a freshly starched white button down and green plaid skirt with a solid green sweater wrapped around her shoulders. "Hey, freshman, give me that sweater," Santana demanded and the girl quickly removed it from her shoulders and handed it to the Cheerio before running down the hall, abandoning her books.

Walking over to Rachel, Santana handed her the sweater with a smug grin. "Here you go."

"Big deal. So, that doesn't prove anything," Rachel muttered, using the towel she kept in her backpack for such occasions to wipe off her face and shirt before slipping on the sweater that proved to be a bit large. "This doesn't even fit."

Santana shrugged and took a sip of her own strawberry flavored slushy. "You said you wanted something to wear. I got you something to wear. "

"I could've done that myself," Rachel said as she straightened. Santana raised an eyebrow and the shorter girl sighed. "Okay so maybe I couldn't have done it quite like that but it still doesn't prove anything."

"Okay this is just getting annoying. Follow me to my office," Santana said, heading into the bathroom. She stepped back out and motioned for Rachel to follow her and against her better judgment, Rachel followed her in.

And just as before, the sudden cold splash of icy drink was a complete surprise. "You'd think I would have seen that one coming," she mumbled to herself, wiping her face with the towel. When she could see clearly again, she glared over at Santana. "I thought you said you weren't going to torture me today."

Santana shrugged. "Old habits die hard, I guess. Now come on," she said, tugging Rachel to the last stall in the bathroom.

"Ohmygod, all of those rumors about what you do to girls in the bathroom are true," Rachel said said, trying to pull away.

"Oh, will you just shut up already and step into my office?" The Cheerio said, pulling the stall door open.

"Your office is in the last stall in the bathroom? That's kind of lame for 'the Devil' don't you think?" Rachel scoffed before Santana tugged her hard into the stall. Only it wasn't a toilet that greeted them. It was a posh office with a nice view of Times Square just below them. A tiny Asian girl with glasses greeted them.

"Welcome back," she said to Santana, ignoring Rachel's existence. "The phones have been ringing off the hook. There's some kind of an issue with you know who."

Santana, sighed and shook her head, dismissing the girl. "I will deal with all of that later. As you can see I'm busy with a new client. Please see to it that Ms. Berry has every comfort she could want."

The girl turned to Rachel as if seeing her for the first time. "Right Ms. Berry, I'll be right back with your chai tea and some vegan pumpkin cinnamon rolls."

Rachel's eyes widen and she looked over at Santana, who appeared to have changed clothes. She was now sporting a black suit with red pinstripes and a red bustier similar to the ones they'd worn during their Madonna number last year. "How did she know? And how did you change so fast and are we in New York?!" She couldn't help but grow a little excited by the last question.

"I know all, sweetie," Santana said, moving around her desk to sit in her seat. "We aren't in New York, we're about ten thousand miles below it, but if you'd like a view of someplace else, just let me know and I'll change it, but first let's get down to business, shall we?"

"Right, so is this the part where I 'sell you my soul in exchange for seven wishes?' Is that the right amount?" Rachel scoffed, smiling gratefully when the other girl brought back her treats.

"How are you still skeptical? Haven't I shown you enough proof? Would it be more believable to you if I looked like this?" She snapped her fingers and suddenly became a red-skinned centaur with a deep voice and a pitch fork. "Better?"

Screaming, Rachel jumped back, spilling hot chai tea all over herself, her chair, and the floor. "No! Change back! Change back right now!"

She heard another snap and suddenly she was looking at Santana once again. "Now do you believe me?"

"I suppose I have to. It's just...I'm Jewish and we don't believe in the Devil," Rachel said, still staring at the girl she'd called her classmate for as long as she could remember.

"Yes, your people always did have problems in the belief department, didn't they?" Santana asked opening her laptop, a second laptop suddenly appeared before Rachel and she started to read.

"Well, I think it's understandable that, despite the number of years you've spent proving to everyone just how evil you are, I still wouldn't think you were actually the devil. I mean, why do you go to high school?"

"It gets boring down here, okay? I get stuck with a lot of paperwork and sometimes I just like to have fun. Where better to that than bullying kids in school?" She countered with a grin. "Plus high school is probably the closest thing to hell on earth."

"I guess torturing millions of souls and paperwork could certainly become monotonous," Rachel conceded. "So, since you're real does that mean that God is real? And what about Jesus? Are the Christians really right about him?"

"BORING," Santana said loudly. "They wrote a whole book about God and you humans still want to ask a million questions about Her and..._Him_." Santana rolled her eyes, "Well, enough is enough. Let's talk about something more exciting like you giving me your soul."

"God's a woman?" Rachel asked.

"Do you really think a _man_ would be capable of such great feats? Come on." Santana answered, sitting back in her seat. "Now, back to the matter of your soul."

"I think I'm going to have to pass. I doubt there's anything you could give me that's worth my soul." Rachel wondered when she'd be waking up from this very weird dream. She hoped soon because this was all a little too realistic to be so bizarre.

"What do you care about your soul for? You said it yourself. You're Jewish. You guys don't even believe in an afterlife. So, what does it matter if I have your soul? It's not like you're going to do anything with it," Santana said crossing her arms. "Look. Don't get caught up in the language. You don't think you're going anywhere when you die anyway. So, why do you care if where your soul ends up has a warmer climate? Don't be fooled by how I'm portrayed on television. Most of those guys sold their souls to me a long time ago and they don't want anyone to know just how good they've got it."

"But it's my _soul_" Rachel reiterated, trying not to let herself be swayed by Santana's logic.

"Have you ever seen your soul? Do you have any idea what a soul does?" The other girl asked, crossing her legs as she shifted in her seat.

"Well...no-" Rachel began only to be interrupted.

"Right. Trust me when I say a soul is just like your spleen. It used to have a function many years ago, but no one can remember what it was and right now, it serves no purpose." Santana said. "And how many people trade you seven wishes just to have your spleen? And just think. You can wish for_anything_ you want."

"Well if souls are so useless, why do you want it?" Rachel asked, lifting her chin defiantly.

"Well aren't you clever? Let's just say I'm a collector of rare things and your soul would be one of the rarest..." Santana purred, standing and moving to Rachel before spinning her to look at the giant screen against the wall. "Just look at what your life could be like."

The screen jumped to life and there was Quinn standing on the beach, her blonde hair loose and blowing in the wind. She was wearing a long, white billowing gown flowing around her as she ran. Rachel could feel the familiar ache and she wanted to reach out and touch the blonde. She could just make out a figure in the distance. Quinn was running to someone.

"Who is that? Who is she running towards?" Rachel breathed out.

"It's you..."Santana whispered back just as Quinn met Rachel in the screen and they embraced. Tears stung Rachel's eyes as she saw the other version of herself smiling so happily.

"I love you, Rachel. I always have," Quinn said before pressing a soft kiss to Rachel's lips.

"She's so perfect," Rachel sighed. "How did you know?"

"I know what's in your heart. I know how you have always longed to hold her in your arms and despite you doing everything in your power to break her and Finn up, she never gave you the time of day. I can make her, Rachel. I can make you happier than you've ever imagined. All you have to do is sign." Santana's words washed over her, filling her up and spilling over until all she could focus on was having Quinn and being happy.

"All I have to do is sign and I can have Quinn?" Rachel asked, looking over at Santana.

"All you have to do is sign and you can have her and you'd even have wishes left over." Santana turned her seat and pushed her towards the second laptop. "Just sign right there on the bottom and you can have it all."

It was just a soul, right? Santana was right. She had no idea what her soul did or why she needed it. She was probably never going to use it anyway. So, she might as well give it to someone who actually wanted it. Nodding, she typed out her full name and clicked the box.

"Excellent," Santana whispered sinisterly and straightened. "Now that that's out of the way, here are a few rules. First, take this." She handed Rachel something that resembled an iPhone, but was actually just a keypad. "If for any reason your wish isn't going the way you'd hoped, then you just hit 666 on that and it will immediately bring you out of the wish you're in and bring you back to me."

"Why wouldn't my wish be going the way I'd hoped?" Rachel asked with a frown.

"It's just a formality, Berry. Every wish you make will be a hundred percent fabulous. The first rule is, you can't, at any time, wish for more wishes. You'll immediately forfeit all remaining wishes and get sent down here with me. Second rule is, if you leave one wish you may not return to it unless you wish to forfeit your remaining wishes. Now, enough of that. Time to get wishing." Santana snapped her fingers and the laptops disappeared.

Rachel stood and met the other girl's gaze. "I want to get married to Quinn and be rich. Oh and I want to be famous. Like...I want to be a Tony Award Winner with a loft apartment near Central Park."

"Done. All you have to say is 'I wish' and you can have it all," Santana said with a smile.

Closing her eyes, Rachel took a deep breath and cleared her mind. "I wish I were married to Quinn and rich and famous with a Tony Award and a loft apartment near Central Park."

The sound of a blaring alarm awoke Rachel with a start. The first thing she noticed was the feel of a silk nightgown against her her skin and the feel of cool satin sheets beneath her bare legs. She felt someone stir beside her and looked over, her heart swelling in her chest as her gaze fell upon the sleeping form of Quinn Fabray. She pumped her fist in the air triumphantly and sent a silent thanks out to Santana.

"Rachel, sweetie," Quinn mumbled, turning towards her but not opening her eyes.

"Yes, Quinn?" Rachel said, trying to keep her voice normal though her insides were jumping for joy.

"Can you turn your alarm off? I'm still so tired." Quinn took a deep breath and hunkered down under the comforter.

Snapping to attention, Rachel reached over and silenced the alarm. She threw the covers back and stood carefully, noting the plush carpet beneath her feet. The room was twice the size of her usual bedroom and had an amazing view of Central Park.

She threw open the double doors and strolled out, smiling at the uniformed workers as she walked by. She moved into the kitchen and paused when she saw a teenage girl with light brown hair and unmistakable green eyes. Bethany, she thought, Quinn's daughter. Rachel hadn't gotten to see much of her since her birth, save for the few times Quinn had brought her to practices, but there was no mistaking her. She looked just like Quinn, save for her brown hair.

Smiling, Rachel walked over to her. "Good morning, Bethany."

The girl scowled. "What's good about it exactly? I mean besides the fact that you haven't had your first glass of scotch yet," she spat.

Rachel was taken aback by the sudden anger. "Excuse me?" She asked, frowning.

"No, excuse me," Bethany said with a glare just as her cellphone rang. "Hello? No, I'm not doing anything." Her gaze flickered to Rachel again before she smirked. "Mommie Dearest decided it was time to be social." She threw her head back and let out a hateful laugh before walking towards the door. "Oh I know, right? I just can't wait to get out of here."

Her heart sinking into her stomach, Rachel sighed. She'd heard teenagers could be troubling. Maybe they were going through a rough patch. She could deal with that. She could work her magic and they'd be good again in no time. With her spirits high once again. She walked around her loft. It was so large, she was having a hard time remembering that it was in an apartment building. There was a study and a sunken living room. She moved into the room that she assumed was her office and did a happy dance when she spotted her seven Tony Awards. She saw the awards ranging from Best Supporting Actress in a Musical to Best Actress in A Musical, the awards ranged over a span of almost ten years from plays to revivals to musicals. Rachel also saw Actors Guild Awards and even what looked like a Grammy.

"Here is your morning scotch, Mrs. Berry," a maid with a thick Guatemalan accent said, carrying a glass on a tray over to her.

Rachel looked down at the glass in surprise and remembered Bethany mentioning her drinking earlier._Ohmygod, is that true?_ She wondered, shaking her head. "No, thank you. No more scotch from now on."

The maid looked up at her with surprised dark eyes. "Okay, but the car is coming for you soon so that you can get down do the theatre. You have a matinee show today and you say the scotch helps."

Frowning, Rachel shook her head again. "I'm good, but did you say I have a matinee?" She looked around and saw the large clock on the wall. "Oh, I have to get ready to go!" Hurrying out of the room.

After a quick but perfect shower, Rachel, dressed in clothes that were more expensive than anything she'd ever owned, raced out to her waiting car. On the drive, she sang along to the scores of musicals playing on the Broadway XM station. Her life seemed perfect.

As she made her way into the theatre, she waved at her castmates, frowning when no one greeted her back. If anything, they seemed surprised by her presence. A pretty blonde ran up to her. She smiled down at the brunette and Rachel blinked. "Brittany?"

The blonde shook her head. "No, my name is Katelyn." She leaned forward, taking a sniff. "Well, I don't smell any scotch. So, you're not drunk. How many pills did you take?"

Rachel jumped back, glowering. "I did not take any pills," she hissed.

The Brittany clone smiled indulgently. "Of course you didn't. Now, let's get you into makeup. You're running late." She led Rachel to a row of chairs and began to apply the heavy stage makeup.

People bustled about around them and Rachel let her eyes slip shut, drifting a little until she heard a familiar voice. _Quinn_, she thought with a smile. Her dark eyes fluttered open and her smile faltered. Just to the side, she could just make out Quinn and she was in a heated embrace with someone else. She looked up at the blue-eyed woman with tears in her eyes. "I don't understand."

"Oh that? That's been going for a while. Everyone thought you knew," Katelyn replied with a sympathetic frown. "They've been seen all over town. It just really sucks that it's with your biggest enemy, Jesse St. James. I mean even you don't deserve that."

"What do you mean even _I_ don't deserve that?" Rachel asked though she was afraid to hear the answer.

"Well, honestly, you're not exactly the nicest person. You keyed Seinfeld's car in a drunken rage. And then there was the screaming match you got into with Beyonce where you criticized her voice." Katelyn shrugged and focused on her makeup then. "But I don't think that makes you evil. I like to think that maybe you're just misunderstood."

"Misunderstood..." Rachel repeated. She sprung from the chair and headed towards where Jesse and Quinn were. She could hear Katelyn calling her back, but she pressed forward. "Quinn, what is the meaning of this?" She asked, squaring her shoulders.

Quinn didn't even bother to step away from Jesse. She just glared at Rachel in annoyance. "What does it look like?"

Rachel blinked back tears. "I don't understand. We're married and in love. How can you be doing this?"

A harsh laugh escaped the blonde's lips. "We're in love? We have _never_ been in love. In fact, I only married you to get out of that awful town. I loathe you," she said, her eyes cold. "And now that you've finally acknowledged what's going on, it's the perfect time to tell you I'm leaving you."

"What? No! You can't leave. This isn't how this is supposed to go. We're supposed to be happy! We're supposed to be in love," Rachel cried, reaching for the blonde, but Quinn evaded her touch.

"Don't. This is over, Rachel. I never want to see you again." Turning on her heels, Quinn dragged Jesse by the hand behind her. "Bethany and I will be out of the apartment by the time you get your drunken ass home."

The older man smirked and waved. "I guess I'm even better with Quinn than you are."

Rachel watched them as they left. The tears streamed freely down her face and she sank to her knees, heart breaking. She could feel people gathering around her and reached into her back pocket, pulling out the keypad and hitting the three numbers before she was zapped out of the wish.

Rachel opened her eyes and found herself standing in the middle of the Cheerios locker room. The uniformed cheerleaders were spilling in from the field after practice. She tried to hide but couldn't seem to move fast enough. Not that it mattered. They moved around her as if she were invisible and as Quinn walked in, laughing at something Brittany had said, Rachel reached out to touch her, but hesitated.

"Go ahead. She won't feel it," Santana said, rounding the row of lockers, wrapped in a towel. Rachel averted her eyes, trying not to peek though she was admittedly curious. "You can also look if you want. I mean this body is perfect. It would be a shame not to. Though, it would probably ruin you for your beloved Quinnie."

The first wish came back in a flash and Rachel straightened, turning a glare on the other girl. "You promised me my wish would be one hundred percent fabulous, but that was a nightmare. I was an alcoholic bitch with a wife and child that hated her. Quinn was going to leave me. What parts of that scream fabulous? I demand a refund."

"Sorry, Berry, but there are no refunds. Besides all you said was you wanted to be married to Quinn, rich and famous. You never once mention the words love." Santana said as she pulled on a red lace bra and matching panties.

"Well, you knew what I meant!" Rachel huffed indignantly.

Santana shrugged. "It isn't my fault that you made a poorly worded wish."

Rachel drew back, mouth falling open as her annoyance grew tenfold. "A poorly worded wish? I-"

"I want to see it!" Brittany exclaimed, interrupting Rachel's diatribe. Turning, she saw the taller blonde huddled next to Quinn.

"Sam wrote me a song. He's so sweet. Bethany loves him and he said that after college we could move anywhere I wanted, but I think even if we stayed here, I would be this happy." Quinn held out a piece of paper for her friend to see.

The sinking feeling in Rachel's stomach returned. She wasn't sure she could compete with Sam. Quinn didn't give her a second glance at school and even in her own wish, Quinn had despised her. So what was she supposed to do?

"Well, you do have more wishes," Santana said in a bored tone, snapping her fingers and clothing her still semi-naked form in a new uniform.

Rachel nodded. "You're right and this one is going to be a good one." She moved to her feet and closed her eyes. "I want Quinn to love me. Really love me and I want us to be together and happy. I also want Bethany to love me. And I don't want to be some sort of bitchy alcoholic famewhore. I want to be nice."

"Blah, blah, blah...just say 'I wish' already." Santana rolled her eyes.

"Right," Rachel said as she felt herself starting to get excited. "I wish..."

"Ms. Berry, was my answer to the quadratic equation right?" Rachel looked up and saw a classroom full of students watching her intently. Quadratic equation? How was she supposed to know the answer to that?

She looked at the board and blinked before rattling off an explanation. She couldn't believe the words were coming from her mouth. She'd never been particularly great at math or science, but now her mind was full of formulas and theories and numbers. "Ohmygod, I'm a genius in this wish," she exclaimed before remembering that she wasn't alone.

Turning bright red, she turned back to the students that were staring back at her in confusion and let out a nervous giggle. The bell rang signaling the end of class and she breathed out a sigh of relief. The teenagers began to file out of the room and pushed the glasses up that had slid down her nose. _I wear glasses?_ She thought with a frown, but shrugged. There were worse things in the world, right?

"Rachel, are you okay? You look a little out of it." Rachel turned at the sound of the voice and started when she saw the familiar green eyes of the teenage girl from the previous wish. Only this time her hair was blonde, her eyes were kind and she had a gentle smile.

"Bethany?" Rachel breathed out before clearing her throat. "I mean, yes, I'm good. I'm great even."

Bethany flipped her light locks over her shoulder and fixed Rachel with an uncertain look. "Are you sure? I'd ask if you wanted to see the school nurse, but it's the end of the day."

"I'm good. I promise," Rachel said again, standing from her seat. "See? I can stand and everything."

The smile that came from the girl was so like Quinn's that it made Rachel's heart melt. "I see. Well, if you're sure you're all right, I'll see you at home. I have to go or I'll be late to glee."

This was definitely more like it. Maybe Santana had been right. She'd just worded her last wish poorly. "Great. You don't want to be late." She watched the girl leave before she headed out of the classroom. Teachers and students greeted her as she walked down the hall and she grinned and waved back before heading.

"Rachel, wait up," someone called from behind her. She turned and saw one of the other teachers walking up to her.

"See you tomorrow, Ms. Jones," one of the students said as they walked by the other teachers and a brown-skinned woman waved as the teacher walked by.

The tiny brunette waited for the other woman to catch up to her. She stood off to the side and straightened her snowman-printed sweater. "Hi," she greeted when they were finally face to face.

"Hey girl, I just wanted to see if everything was still going as planned for tonight," the other woman said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Going as planned?" Rachel asked with a frown.

The woman blinked. "Yeah, you're going to ask Quinn to marry you tonight, right? I mean you had the ring specially designed and planned to cook this amazing dinner. Or are you not doing that anymore?"

She was asking Quinn to marry her? _Tonight?!_ She felt a panic settle over her as her mind raced. "No, I am," she said quickly. "I should probably get going." She smiled her goodbyes and raced out of the door.

Looking through her organizer, happy that she still kept such detailed notations, she was able to race around town in preparation of the night's affair. She ran to the grocery store and picked up flowers. The last stop on her list was the jewelers. A nervous energy moved through her as she made her way through the door of the quiet store. She could feel her purse buzzing and it took her a moment to realize it was her phone vibrating and now her own nervous energy. Opening the shoulder bag, she pulled out her cell. She smiled brightly when she saw that it was a text from Quinn, but felt a little hesitation when she remembered what had happened in the last wish.

_Hey Rach, are we still on for tonight?_

Rachel let out a slow breath as she read the text. She looked around before texting back.

_We are. Thundercats are go. _

_Thundercats are go?_ She thought with a frown, shaking her head. She might also be a little lame in this wish. Her phone vibrated again seconds later and she immediately opened the text.

_lol okay, Rach. I'll see you when I get home. I can't wait for my surprise. Love u._

_Love u._ Rachel read that sentence over and over again, the last of her hesitation about this world melting away. She lived with Quinn and Bethany and they both loved her. She let out a yelp of excitement and did a little dance.

Someone chuckling behind her drew Rachel's attention and she spun around. "Hello again Ms. Berry, I take it from your excitement that tonight is the big night."

"Brittany!" Rachel exclaimed, inexplicably happy to see the other woman.

Only the blonde frowned. "Brittany?"

"That's your name right?" Rachel asked with a frown of her own.

The woman shook her head and shifted in discomfort. "My name is Michelle. Are you feeling okay, Ms. Berry?"

Nodding, Rachel stared at the Brittany close for a moment before looking away. "I'm sorry. You just remind me of someone I used to know."

Michelle smiled. "Believe it or not, I get that a lot." She motioned for Rachel to follow her to the back of the store. "We've got your ring all finished." She reached beneath the the jewelry case and produced the small ring box.

Rachel's hand trembled as she took the box and opened it. The ring was a simple band with a modest, princess-cut diamond. It was nothing extraordinary, but there was something about the ring that said "Quinn" when she looked at it.

"It's perfect," she said, handing the box back to Michelle.

"Perfection is determined by the person. Someone might hate this ring, but you love it. So, yes, it's perfect," the clerk said with a smile.

"That's surprisingly insightful," Rachel said, meeting the woman's blue eyes. It was odd that someone could look so much like a person she knew and yet be completely different because she was pretty sure those were words that Brittany would never use.

Michelle smiled at her and gave a little shrug. "I'm not sure that it's insightful. I just think life is different things to different people. Like everything about it. Happiness, fortune, success and even love. It's just a matter of point of view."

Rachel nodded in agreement and grinned as she pocketed the box. "That's very beautiful. I think that's a great outlook to have."

"Good luck tonight, Ms. Berry," Michelle said as Rachel made her way out of the store.

As Rachel made her way home, the clerk's words played over and over in her mind, but she couldn't figure out why. Shrugging it off, she parked in front of the house and hurriedly gathered the supplies from the car and made her way inside.

She started the food for dinner before cleaning the dining room and setting up the flowers and candles on the table. She turned on the stereo, slipping in a CD she'd apparently made for this occasion.

By the time the front door opened, Rachel was just lighting the last candle. She smiled when she saw Quinn walk in. She took a moment to really see the blonde. Her hair was now in a shoulder-length bob and she wore a conservative black suit. Rachel searched her new memories and recalled that Quinn was an insurance agent in this world.

"Hi!" Quinn greet, coming into the dining room and wrapping her arm around Rachel's waist. She pressed a kiss to Rachel's cheek and leaned against her. "This looks incredible and smells even better. What's the special occasion?"

Rachel hoped her expression didn't give her away as she tried to appear nonchalant. "No reason. I just...wanted to do something nice for you."

Quinn's eyebrows rose in surprise as she slipped off her blazer and draped it on the back of her chair. "Wow...a nice dinner and a surprise and all after you've worked all day. You're like the ideal wife," the blonde teased as she spread the napkin in her lap.

Heart skipping a beat, Rachel smiled as she looked down at her plate and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "So, how was your day?" She asked, changing the subject.

As they conversed about their days, Rachel fingered the velvet box she'd hidden under the nearby napkin. She listened intently as Quinn spoke, letting the lilt in her voice wash over her. This was exactly how Rachel had always thought being with Quinn would be like. She felt so calm and comfortable and every time Quinn smiled at her fondly, Rachel had to keep from sighing.

"Rachel, is everything all right? You seem...I don't know, kind of distracted," Quinn said softly, taking a sip of her wine.

Deciding she couldn't wait any longer, Rachel screwed up her courage. It was now or never and besides, they were in love. "Actually, there's something I need to ask you." She stood from her seat and grabbed the box. Rachel rounded the table and knelt before the blonde, taking her hands into her own. She took a deep breath and met Quinn's eyes. "I had a whole speech prepared, but I suddenly find myself at a loss for words. If we were the perfect algebraic formula I think we'd be (a+ b) 2 = a2+ 2ab +b2. I've been in love with you since I learned -1 +1 = 0. I think that we'd be perfect together forever and life without you would be like an imperfect fraction. So Quinn, will you be the solution to me equation?"

Quinn's eyes widened and she frowned in confusion. "What?"

"Will you marry me?" Rachel asked with a blush.

Of all the reactions she'd been expecting, laughter hadn't been one of them. Quinn's head fell back as the melodic tone of her laughing spilled from the her mouth. "Good one, Rach. You almost had me for a moment," she rasped, wiping at her eyes.

Rachel shook her head, blinking back the tears. "Quinn, why are you laughing?

The blonde sobered immediately. "I-er," Quinn sputtered looking around before turning back to the brunette. "Wait. You're...ohmygod, you're being serious?"

The shorter woman bit her lip and nodded. "I love you, Quinn. I thought..." Rachel looked down when she heard her voice quiver. "I thought you loved me too."

"I do love you, Rachel, but...only as a friend. You know I'm straight, Rach." Quinn brushed a lock of wavy dark hair out of dark eyes. "But hey, I totally support you if you aren't." The blonde pressed a kiss to Rachel's forehead and smiled. "You're my best friend and I love you. That hasn't changed."

"Yeah, yeah...you love me...and you're sure you're not even a little gay?" Rachel asked hopefully.

Quinn shook her head. "Nope, I mean there was that one time when I got drunk with that woman Michelle that works at the jewelry store, but I am definitely not gay."

"Right, well...thanks for this," Rachel stood and walked into the kitchen, looking for her purse.

"Wait. Where are you going?" Quinn called after her.

"Sorry, Quinn," she mumbled in reply. "I have a date with the devil." Rachel pulled out the keypad and typed three numbers.

Rachel opened her eyes and looked around. She was standing on the stage at McKinley, but the auditorium was dark. "Santana!" She called out, crossing her arms. She was fuming. A bright spotlight flooded her vision, causing her eyes to burn. She held up her hand to ward off the brightness and backed away a little bit. "That isn't funny. Show yourself now!"

The spotlight vanished and the normal stage lights turned on. "That's where you and I disagree," Santana said, suddenly behind her.

Spinning around, Rachel glared at the other girl. "Straight? You made her _straight_?!" She began to pace, trying to calm her emotions. "And don't you dare say that this was poor wording on my part! I was very specific."

"Except you didn't say anything about her being gay or in love with you," Santana countered in a sing-song voice. "Besides, I didn't _make_ her gay. I believe that was the work of your God."

"Right, I'm sure you played no part in that at all," Rachel spat, still pacing. She was busy trying to figure out how to word the next wish. She didn't have many left. "Now, maybe the key isn't that I ask that she love me. Maybe I should just be the kind of person she could fall in love with," Rachel said more to herself than to Santana.

Santana smirked but hid it before Rachel could see it. "And...um what do we know about the people she's dated?"

"Well, let's see. She's dating Sam and before him was Puck and Finn," Rachel recounted. "That works in my favor. She likes brown hair. So, I won't have to dye mine and she's clearly okay with the Jewish thing since she's raising a baby with Puck. They all sing and can sort of dance on a good day. I'm far more intelligent than all of them combined. So, all that's lacking is natural athletic talent."

"Seems like you have it all figured out, Berry. Now just say those two magic words and I can get back to working on my tan in Hades." Santana said, snapping her fingers to change into a red and black string bikini.

Rachel's eyes widened as she took in the view, but she scowled as she caught Santana's knowing grin. "I wish I could be the kind of athlete Quinn usually goes for and that she will be- we'll both be lesbians."

Santana sneered. "Hey, your wish is my command."

The feeling of suddenly being in motion startled Rachel, but she managed to catch herself just before falling. She felt a hand grab her and she smiled when she saw a familiar face. "Brittany!" She said, but the blonde shook her head.

"WHO?" She screamed over the crowd's roar.

"NEVERMIND!" Rachel said, shaking her head and focusing on skating.

_"For a moment it looked like Ragin' Rachberry was gonna take a tumble but CareBear Scare pulled her from the brink at the last second. And it seems like it's just in the nick of time because Tina Torture is on the prowl._

Rachel frowned as the rounded the turn. "WHO'S TINA TORTURE?"

The blue eyed woman frowned. "I THINK YOU HIT YOUR HEAD A LITTLE HARD THE LAST TIME." She whipped Rachel around and past the other skaters and on instinct, Rachel's left arm shot out and hit one of the women in the stomach, knocking her on her ass. "WHY DID I JUST DO THAT?"

Carebear just grinned and shook her head. "BECAUSE YOU'RE OUR SECRET WEAPON...TINY, BUT STRONG."

_"Oooh looks like Ragin' Rachberry has just taken Lethal Sunshine out of the game. That should be a major penalty for the Lima Devils, but the ref is letting it go. I wonder if that's because Tina Torture is closing in on them pretty fast there."_

Rachel made the mistake of turning around. She nearly freaked when she saw the slightly taller Asian girl dressed completely in black coming at them. CareBear fell back, doing her best to block her, but Tina just knocked her out of the way like a rag doll. Panicked, Rachel skated faster but couldn't seem to escape. Tina was right on her. She could practically feel the other girl's breath on her neck and squatted just as Tina made a grab for her. She managed to catch the girl's legs and flip her over causing her to fly up in the sky and come crashing to the rink floor.

The crowd went wild, chanting her name. She straightened and took a victory lap around the rink, flexing her muscles and showing off a few of her signature moves. Then with a smile and a wave, she dashed off toward the showers.

She needed to stop at her locker to grab her toiletries. On the way, fans greeted her and she paused to sign a few autographs and take pictures. Someone cleared their throat behind her and she turned, grinning as she spotted Quinn Fabray standing there with a smirk.

"Is it my turn to take a picture with Ragin' Rachberry?" She asked, moving so close to Rachel that she invaded her personal space.

Rachel shivered and smiled bigger. "You, pretty lady, can take as many photos as you'd like."

"Don't tempt me. I might not want to stop with just photos of you _in_ your derby uniform." The blonde stepped forward and handed her camera to one of Rachel's teammates. "Say cheese."

The brunette smiled and pulled the blonde to her at the last second, noting how the other woman squeaked slightly, but didn't pull away. If anything, she pressed a little closer. That was definitely a good sign. When her teammate handed the camera back, Rachel stepped away, not wanting to assume anything.

"I think I'll keep that one for my personal collection," Quinn practically purred before sticking out her hand. "Hi, I'm Quinn Fabray from the Lima Local Lips. I can't tell you what an honor it is to be meeting you. My daughter, Bethany, is a huge fan, but not as big a fan as I am. I was wondering if you might mind doing something..._exclusive_ with me for the paper. Maybe something more intimate. You know, one-on-one, just the two of us..."

There was a suggestive tone to her voice that made an unfamiliar ache start between Rachel's legs. She shifted a little and nodded, letting her eyes roam over Quinn's body. "Well maybe we can start in the locker room and then, I'll shower and we can continue elsewhere...like in my hotel room? That's the most intimate place I can think of right now."

Quinn's gaze was heated as she looked at Rachel and nodded. "I always say, the more intimate, the better," she said with a flirty gaze.

"Sounds like a great motto. Follow me." Rachel crooked her fingers and led the way to the nearly empty locker room. She moved to her locker and pulled it open. Reaching for the hem of her uniform top. "You don't mind getting a little up close and personal right now do you?"

"I don't mind at all. I'm sure fans like me would love to see you _bare_ all," Quinn said with a suggestive smirk.

Chuckling lightly, Rachel pulled her top off, followed by her sports bra. "Well, you know I'll do almost anything for my fans."

Hazel eyes lingered her on her breasts and Rachel could feel her nipples hardening under the heated gaze and the throbbing in her groin intensified. "I guess that's why your fans love you. You're so devoted. I bet you're really...patient. I can tell you don't like to stop until you've won."

"Well who doesn't love a win? It's a total high. Very few things rival that natural rush, so is it a wonder than I'm so _driven_ to succeed in all that I do?" Rachel asked, stepping closer to the blonde.

"Not at all. Would you say you have more female fans than male or is it about even?" Quinn asked, taking a seat on the nearby bench.

"Well, I'm not sure. I mean I definitely know guys are into it, but women are my true fans." Rachel grabbed her shower gel and loofah out of her bag and set it next to the blonde, letting her breasts just graze Quinn's arm.

Quinn gasped and looked up at her with a look that made Rachel want to melt. "I'm really looking forward to this one-on-one interview," she husked.

"So am I. Just let me hit the showers and then I'm all yours." Rachel said with a grin.

"Don't let me stop you." Quinn gaze fell to the brunette's still clothed bottom half and she bit her bottom lip.

Smirking, Rachel straightened and hooked her fingers beneath the waistband of her skirt and panties, tugging them over her slender hips and stepping out of them. There was an unfamiliar weight between her legs and frowned as she stood up again and looked down.

She nearly screamed in horror when she looked down and saw that not only did she have a penis, a huge penis at that, but it was standing at full attention.

Quinn's eyes went round and she looked as if she might be sick. "I-um...wow. This was definitely an unexpected turn of events. It looks as though the fans will be getting a lot more than they were looking for. I just need to call my editor and see if I still have the greenlight for this penis-I mean story. This is a huge, huge story. No, doubt about that," Quinn rambled, scrambling to her feet and backing away.

"Wait! I mean. I'm sure it'll still be a really good story," Rachel begged, reaching out for the other woman while trying to hide her new appendage.

"I'm sure...it is, but I think maybe a different person would be more equipped to handle such a huge penis-story! I should go." Quinn hurried out of the room and Rachel hung her head.

Santana was going to pay for this. Rachel would make sure of it. She pulled out the keypad and hit three sixes, trying her best not to break the device.

"A penis?! You gave me a penis?!" Rachel screamed as she spotted Santana. A few students behind her snickered and Rachel looked around. They were in the cafeteria line. "I thought you said they couldn't hear me."

Santana shrugged and waved at the cute jock standing a few people in front of them, blowing him a kiss. "Well, today they can." She moved up the line and pushed her tray toward the portly cafeteria worker. "Load 'er up and don't even think about skimpin' on the tots."

"I thought Cheerios weren't allowed to eat that kind of stuff." Rachel frowned as the woman loaded her tray with meatloaf. "Excuse me. I'm a vegan. I do not believe in eating any animals or animal byproducts."

"Well then today's your lucky day, there's no actual meat in that meatlof, that's the surprise. Now move it along, ankle biter. I've got hungry kids to feed." The curly-haired older woman glared at Rachel before jerking her head to the side. Rachel moved quickly, hurrying along to catch up to Santana.

"Don't think you can just walk away from me, Santana Lopez," Rachel took a seat across from the other girl, pushing her tray to the side. She ignored the Cheerios staring at her and slammed her hand on the table. "You gave me a penis! And not a small penis. A huge one! It's a wonder I could keep it concealed under my derby skirt!"

"I would have thought you'd be pleased. You said you wanted to have something in common with Puck, Finn and Sam. Plus, Quinn was definitely a huge lez in that last wish. You had everything you asked for." Santana said, trying to bite back an evil chuckle.

"Yeah and then some..." Rachel huffed, sitting back and crossing her arms over her chest. She was livid. "You are truly evil. Do you know that?"

This time Santana did chuckle. "Thank you. It's like no one appreciates my work anymore."

Rachel fixed the other girl with a dirty look and kicked her chair.

Santana frowned. "Hey, that wasn't nice."

"It's like no one appreciates my work anymore," Rachel mimicked, rolling her eyes.

"Look. How about instead of you assuming what Quinn wants, you actually find out?" Santana suggested, popping a tater tot into her mouth.

"And how would I do that? Do you suggest I go up and ask? Hey Quinn, I was just wondering, what kind of person you'd like to date so that I can wish for that in this insane pact I made with Santana. I mean...'the Devil?' I'm sure that will go over real well." Rachel kicked Santana's chair again with a disgruntled sigh.

"Stop that!" Santana snapped. "No, I was just going to suggest you..._listen..._

The doors to the cafeteria opened and in walked Quinn and Sam almost in movie slow motion. She smiled up at him and he took her hand, leading her to the food line.

_"Sometimes, I think Sam is too perfect. Like he's too sweet and too sensitive and I find myself getting bored..."_

Rachel's widened and she looked around, wondering if everyone could hear Quinn's thoughts.

"They can't. Only you..." Santana answered in a bored tone, not bothering to look up at Rachel.

_"I sometimes find myself missing the danger and excitement I felt when I was with Puck. I mean, sure he was an egghead and a total loser for not using a condom and getting me pregnant, but when I was with him...I don't know. He'd do these crazy dangerous things and they were a total adrenaline rush. And I never worried because I knew he'd always keep me safe. That is when he wasn't screwing other girls or paying more attention to Super Mario Brothers than he was to me. I just wish I could combine him and Sam. They'd be like...the perfect guy."_

Smiling, Rachel got an idea. "You're right. I've been approaching this all wrong. It makes sense that Quinn wouldn't want someone that was just one or the other. I'm not one dimensional. So, why should I limit myself at all?"

Santana raised an eyebrow as she looked over at Rachel. "Is there a wish in their somewhere?"

Nodding, Rachel stood up. "I wish that I could be sweet and sensitive with a bad girl side and I want to be all girl this time and Quinn should be gay and in love with me!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Santana said and snapped her fingers.


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel sped down the road along the coast. She'd never really understood the appeal of convertibles, but as she maneuvered the cherry red Lambourghini Diablo, wind in her hair, she felt something she'd never experienced before. She felt...cool.

She checked her reflection in the mirror, smiling when she saw her Christian Dior shades and her freshly cut, now ear-length locks. It was shorter than she'd have ever imagined going, but she had to admit she looked hot.

Pulling up in front of a bar just off the side of the rode, she parked near a gang of motorcyclists. They cat-called and whistled as she climbed out of the car, dusting off her formfitting jeans. She winked at them and headed into the building, walking directly up to the bar and taking a seat.

The air in the bar was thick and muggy. She was lucky that all she had on was a beater because she could feel a fine sheen of sweat break out on her skin. She turned to the bartender, offering her a charming smile. "The usual?" the bartender asked her.

"The usual," Rachel repeated, she said eying the girl. She knew better than to just call her "Brittany" this time. "What's your name?"

"Have there been so many that you've started to confuse me with them as well? I'm Heather," she said patiently before smiling and pulling a beer out of the cooler.

"Heather, right." Rachel repeated, grabbing the frosty beer as Heather set it on the bar. Spinning back around, Rachel took in the other patrons. There were couples dancing around on the floor. Both pool tables had intense games in progress and the few tables the bar had were packed. A few girls caught her eye, but when her dark gaze settled on the familiar blonde sitting at a table alone, she quickly discarded the other women.

"What's the deal with the blonde?" She asked Heather casually.

"Who? Elly May Clampett over there?" Heather eyed Rachel skeptically for a moment. "I don't know. This is the first time I've seen her in here."

_Fresh meat_, Rachel thought as she took a sip of her beer. She watched as the girl bobbed along in time with the music. Though, as she saw the young man with a mohawk walk up to the table, she guessed she wasn't the only one that'd had that idea.

"Hey, I'm Puck and I think I could show you I'm a good fuck," He said to the girl with a grin. Rachel cringed from across the room.

She looked on, watching as the girl gave off clear signs that she was not interested. However, Puck didn't seem to be taking the hint and when Rachel saw him grab the blonde's arm, she was on her feet, striding to the table.

"Is everything okay over here?" She asked when she reached the pair.

Puck turned and looked at the source of the interruption. "Berry, back off. This doesn't concern you."

Rachel's gaze flickered down the blonde who was silent, but whose eyes seemed to be begging the brunette not to leave. "I don't think that's true. The lady said no, Puckerman. Why don't you leave?"

"You don't get to speak for 'the lady.' I think she wants me to stay," Puck sneered.

"Actually, I'd like you to go," the blonde piped in.

The brunette smiled down at the blonde before giving him a smug look. "I guess I wasn't speaking for her after all."

Clenching his jaw, Puck looked between the two women and his eyes turned cold. "Whatever, Berry. You've stolen the last girl from me. This isn't over." He strolled away from the table and out of the bar.

"Thank you so much for doing that," the blond said. "Sit down and at least let me buy you a drink."

Rachel flipped the chair around before straddling it. "Hey, I'm Rachel Berry."

"Quinn Fabray," the blonde...Quinn said, flipping her long wavy blonde hair over her shoulder. Rachel smiled as she heard a slight Southern twang in the other woman's voice. She motioned the waitress over and smiled at Rachel. "Give the lady whatever she'd like."

"I did, but then she never called me again!" The waitress said before stomping off.

Frowning, Rachel turned to Quinn. "Um, I'm sorry. I don't know what that was all about."

Quinn shrugged. "It's all right. We can just find someone else," she said, looking around.

When similar things happened with the next three waitresses, Rachel started to feel embarrassed and Quinn looked at her strangely. "I really don't know, but how about I go to the bar and just get the beers myself?" She stood quickly and moved back over to the bar. "Heather, do you have any idea why none of the waitresses will serve us?"

The bartender nodded. "Well, I _think_ that when you sleep with a girl, but don't call her again she gets pretty mad. When you do it to most of the girls in the bar you frequent, they form a pact."

Rachel sighed. That so didn't sound like her, but just as she was about to thank Heather for the beers a new waitress walked by. She had red hair and doe-like brown eyes. Rachel did a double take. "Who is that?"

Heather shook her head. "That is Emma. She's the new girl and before you get any ideas, she's straight. She's even got a husband."

"Most girls are straight and then they meet me." The words flowed from Rachel's lips before she could seem to stop herself.

"I thought you were into the blonde," Heather countered, smiling at one of the nearby patrons.

"I'm just looking," the brunette frowned again. Maybe her reputation was well earned.

"Uh huh...I've seen you just look before. Now, shoo, get back to your pretty lady and leave my employees alone."

Rachel moved back to the table, stopping along the way to pick a song on the jukebox, and handed Quinn a beer. "I'm sorry about the wait. I wanted to buy you a song."

"Well aren't you a charmer, Rachel Berry?" Quinn said with a smirk before taking a sip of her drink.

Dark eyes traveled up the smooth column of the blonde's neck as she swallowed. Rachel felt her mouth go dry and her pulse begin to race.

Quinn caught her gaze and grinned. "See something you like?"

"I definitely do," Rachel said smoothly before tilting the beer bottle to her lips and letting the cold, malted liquid slide down her throat. The song she picked came over the speakers and Rachel set her beer down. "I hope you like this song. It made me think of you." The blonde's smile grew but faded away as soon as Rachel started to sing. _"Under a lover's sky...wanna be with you and no one gonna be around...if you think that you won't fall...well just wait until...the sun goes down..."_ She croaked out, completely out of tune. Her eyes snapped open and she felt panicked. _My voice! What happened to my voice?_

"Is this what you've been doing, Rachel Berry?" Came a voice from just off to the left. "You leave me home taking care of your three small children so that you can serenade cheap tramps all over town?"

The brunette reluctantly looked up to see an older, angry blonde. "Terri, what are you doing here?"

"Excuse me?" Quinn fumed. "Just who do you think you are?"

"Well, at least this one can string a sentence together," Terri said to Rachel before turning back to Quinn. "I am Terri Berry, Rachel's loving and very beautiful wife. I'm guessing she didn't tell you about me."

The younger blonde looked over at Rachel with wide eyes. "Your wife?"

"Quinn, I can explain..." Rachel began as the door flew open.

"Berry, you've stepped in my business for the last time!" Puck said, pulling out a gun and aiming in her direction.

"WAIT!" Rachel exclaimed, standing from the table and shoving a shaky hand into her back pocket to pull out her keypad. She typed the numbers fast and squeezed her eyes shut. "Okay."

Rachel looked around until she spotted Santana just off to her left. The other girl was locked in a heated embrace with someone Rachel couldn't see, but she didn't care. She strolled over to the coupled and tapped Santana on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Santana. You and I have some business to attend to." When the girl appeared to be ignoring her, Rachel nudged her.

Santana pulled away, leaving the boy pinned the metal of the underside of the bleachers. "It can wait," she hissed. "I'm busy." Turning back to the blond-haired boy, Santana pulled him against her and nipped his bottom lip.

This would not do, Rachel thought indignantly. She cleared her throat and tapped Santana again. "No, this cannot wait. What you did during that last wish was just made me some sort of gigolo...a _womanizer_! And you took away my voice. Nobody messes with the voice! Who do you think you are? Ursala from _The Little Mermaid?_"

"Beat it," Santana said to the boy as she moved away and turned to face Rachel. He nodded and scrambled to steady himself on is feet before running across the field.

"Ohmygod was that Jeremy from _science_?" Rachel asked in surprise once she realized exactly who it was she'd just seen.

The other girl shrugged and straightened her uniform. "In my many years of research, I've found that nerdy, teenage boys are the perfect minions. They're much more reliable than bitchy cheerleaders who generally let a little power go to their head." Santana stopped to smooth her skirt and then looked up at Rachel with a smirk. "Plus, they're _really_ eager to please and a girl never has to put out unless she wants to. They're usually happy if you let them get to second base. Though none of this is helping you, I'm sure. You're trying to get into Quinn Fabray's panties and those things are locked up tighter than the Pentagon."

"Believe it or not, there is more to life than sex, Santana." Rachel crossed her arms and stepped away from the girl.

"Yeah, like greed and anger and gluttony and vanity and envy..." Santana rattled off each word seemed to bring her more delight than the last.

"No, like humility, compassion and helping out the less fortunate," the shorter girl said patiently. "Not that I expect you to understand these things." And she really didn't. She'd been on the receiving end of Santana's particular brand of bullying for years. She was pretty sure that Santana didn't have a single caring bone in her body. No wonder she was the devil.

Santana's dark eyes narrowed. "Are you saying I don't now how to be compassionate and help others in need? I'm helping you, aren't I? Though, given how ungrateful you've been throughout this entire process, I'm starting to wonder why."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Please, you're not helping me out of the goodness of your heart. You're helping me because there's something in it for you. None of it matters because I'm starting to think that perhaps Quinn doesn't have any clue what she wants and you just mess up everything I wish for anyhow. I shouldn't be resorting to cheap tricks to win Quinn over. None of that will give me what I want. I'll never know if she really loves me because I'm who she wants or if it's just because I made a wish that she did."

"Berry, save the sob story for Oprah. You're starting to make me gag and that is no easy task. Just ask Jeremy from science." Santana's wink and Cheshire Cat-like smile turned Rachel's stomach.

"I'd rather not if it's all the same. I shouldn't be saving my story for Oprah," Rachel enthused, pacing as she struggled to gather her thoughts. "I should be living like Oprah. She's generous and intelligent...self-sacrificing and people everywhere admire her. They love her. All I've been focusing on is myself. I should be helping others."

"What about Quinn?" Santana stepped in front of her, forcing her to stop moving.

"I want to be someone she can respect. I want her to take me seriously. I want to do something that can help others. I want to change the world. I want to go down in history for doing something really important." Maybe if she could that, stop focusing on herself for once, Quinn would love her for who she really was.

There was a gleam in Santana's eyes that should have made Rachel apprehensive, but she was too caught up in her thoughts to notice.

"Is that another wish forming?"

With a determined grin, Rachel nodded. "I wish that I could be more like Oprah and change the world."

Rachel looked out at her studio audience with tears in her eyes. "I want to send out a heartfelt thank you for all your letters and words of support. As most of the world knows, I've struggled with the disease of obesity for many years. And I'm just glad that I could use my sickness to shed some light on the growing epidemic in this country." She could hear the sniffles from a few of the people in the audience and tried to stifle her own. "I'd like to hear from a few audience members." She looked out at the crowd and pointed to the pretty blonde in the front. "Yes, you."

"Hi, Miss Berry, my name is Quinn and I'd just like to say that because of your journey, it gave me the courage to face my own family's struggles with obesity. We got my sister checked into your program recently and she's already lost 120 pounds." The blonde began to clap as did the rest of the audience.

Rachel smiled, her heart filling with insincere inspiration. "Would come up here? I'd like to give you a hug." Quinn made her way down to the stage amidst the applause and Rachel struggled to stand from her seat. Suddenly her left arm had shooting pains and she couldn't breathe. Her vision started to get a little fuzzy and she tumbled forward, landing on the stage with a loud thud.

When she came to, she was in the back of an ambulance. The blonde EMT smiled at her. "Welcome back, Miss Berry."

"Brittany..." Rachel tried to say, but her voice was nothing more than a faint whisper.

"No, don't try to talk. We're going to get you to the hospital. Everything is going to be fine."

Shaking her head slightly, Rachel reached up and pulled at the oxygen mask. "My pocket...can you...get the...keypad...please?"

Frowning slightly, the blonde nodded and wiggled her hand into the Rachel's pocket, pulling out the slender, black device and held it up. "This?"

"Yes..." Rachel rasped. "Hit...6...6...6...please..."

The other woman pushed the buttons just as Rachel felt her breathing getting labored and the shooting pain return.

"Come se dice 'Rose and Michael went to the store and bought three shirts?' Clase, por favor?" Mr. Schuester asked, looking around the class. Rachel started at the sound of his voice, but exhaled in relief when she realized she was no longer in her wish.

"So, how did it feel to change the world?" Santana asked from the seat beside her.

She jumped, clutching her hand to her chest before looking over at the demon cheerleader. "That wasn't quite what I had in mind and you made me so obese that I almost died of a heart attack. Now, if you could just leave me alone, I have work to do."

"Hey, what's with the tone?" Santana took a balled up piece of paper and threw it at Sam's head, hitting him on the back of his neck. He turned around and glared at Rachel. The tiny girl shook her head and tilted it towards Santana. She saw his blue eyes shift, but then his brow furrowed in confusion. _Well, no one ever accused him of being terribly smart._

"I will use whatever tone I choose," Rachel hissed. "That last wish was just awful and now I need to get back to my work, though I will undoubtedly be spending the remainder of this period and the next, plotting out the details of my remaining two wishes meticulously."

Drumming her fingers on the desk, Santana nodded along like she cared about what Rachel was saying. "Well, if that's how you want to spend your time then don't let me keep you from the fun, but there's just one problem with that. You only have one more wish."

Rachel turned to her, brows furrowed. "There's no way I missed one of my wishes. I have been keeping track."

"I have no reason to lie about this," Santana said before catching Rachel's dubious expression. "Okay, I have about a thousand reasons to lie about this, but I'm not. Count them off if you don't believe me. There was the Oprah wish, your womanizer wish, the roller derby wish-"

"Where you gave me a giant _penis_!" Rachel exclaimed loudly, drawing the attention of the rest of her class. _Dammit, they can hear me in this one too,_ she thought.

"Rachel, is everything okay back there?" Mr. Schuester gave her his best "concerned about my student's face" mixed with an expression she couldn't quite read.

"Yes, I'm just very enthusiastic about Spanish, Mr. Schuester. I'm sorry for the interruption." Rachel forced a bright smile until he sighed and turned back around to the bored.

"Nice save, loser," Santana mumbled next to her.

"Don't!" Rachel's dark eyes narrowed and she looked down at her notebook, pretending to take notes. "There was the wish where you made Quinn straight and the one where I was famous, but everyone hated me. So, that's five wishes, see?"

"You forgot your first wish. The one where you asked for something new to wear." Santana shifted to the left and crossed her legs, smirking over at Rachel.

"That doesn't count! I hadn't even agreed to this ridiculous deal yet."

"It does count. You said, 'I wish' and I made it happen. Do you think I just go around handing out wishes for free or something? What kind of business do you think I'm in?" Santana scowled.

Rachel was affronted. "How can that possibly count? You took someone else's sweater and then you slushied me again! That isn't fair!"

"_Fair?_ I'm sorry was there something in my job title that led you to believe that I would be fair? Because I'm pretty sure no one has _ever_ accused the devil of being just or fair. I was the cause of original sin. I don't know if you got that memo." Santana stood and glared down at Rachel. "Now you listen to me, midget. You have only one wish left and according to the contract you have exactly one more day to take it or you forfeit it and your soul is mine. Well, your soul is mine regardless of whether you take the wish or not, but I would think you'd want one last parting gift. Think very carefully about just who you're dealing with, Rachel Berry. If you think I was bad before, just wait until I make your life a real _living hell_."

"I am well aware of who I'm dealing with!" Rachel yelled back, but it was too late, Santana had already disappeared. Panic began to set in slowly and she could feel herself starting to become hysterical. There had to be a way out of this. There just had to be.

"Rachel, I think you need to see the school nurse," Mr. Schuester said, looking at her with wide eyes. "Quinn, will you please escort Rachel to Nurse Jennings, please?"

The blonde looked like it was the last thing she wanted to do, but she stood quickly and walked over to Rachel, reaching out her hand awkwardly to take hold to Rachel's wrist. "Come on."

Rachel followed behind her slowly, her mind still racing with half-formed ideas of what she could do. Who could she talk to about the devil? It wasn't like she had a boss, but there had to be someone she could talk to. Someone like...God. That's it! She needed to speak to God.

Pulling Quinn to a stop before they reached the nurse's office, Rachel grabbed both of her shoulders. "Quinn, you're super Christian aren't you? I mean I know you kind of fell off the wagon last year, but I heard from a number of sources that you've decided to become some sort of recovering sinner or something. Is that true?"

Quinn's eyes widened before narrowing in suspicion. "I have decided to put last year behind me and start working towards rebuilding my relationship with God, yes. I mean-" She stopped herself and looked down at the other girl. "Why? Are you like trying to recruit people to Judaism or something? Did Puck put you up to this because I've already told him once before that I'm not raising Bethany Jewish..."

"Well, that's not a very enlightened approach to raising a child of two different faiths, but we can certainly discuss that at a later time. Right now, your faith is what I need to help me. This is going to sound crazy, but I think you, or at least your pastor, are the only one that can help me." Rachel's hold on Quinn tightened and the blonde looked down at her hands and then back at Rachel's face before raising an eyebrow. She let her hands drop to her sides immediately. "I need to speak to God."

"So pray," Quinn answered bluntly.

"No, I don't think that will be enough. I think...this is bigger than that. I need you to take me to your church like right now," Rachel begged.

"First of all, I only agreed to take you as far as the nurse's office. Second, you're Jewish. Why would you need to go to my church?"

"I can't tell you," Rachel said, though she was beginning to think that maybe she wouldn't have a choice.

"Well, then I don't think I can help you. We should definitely get you to the nurse where you can lay down and maybe she can call your parents or something." Quinn tugged at Rachel's arm, pulling her towards the office again.

Rachel stood strong, shaking her head. "No, Quinn, the very matter of my soul is at stake. I really need your help."

"Your _soul_ is at stake?" Quinn asked slowly. "Just what kind of witchcraft are you trying to pull here? I'm sorry. I don't mess with black magic. My parents wouldn't even let me watch Harry Potter until I was in high school."

"It's not witchcraft! It's...look you believe in the devil, right?" Rachel asked, deciding to try a different tactic.

"Devil worship? Really Rachel?" Quinn stepped away from the other girl as if she thought she might be struck down at any second.

"I do not worship the devil!" Rachel yelled before taking a calming breath. "I didn't even believe in the Devil until just recently. There's no time to explain this properly because I really only have until tomorrow. So, I'm just going to give you the facts here. I made a deal with the Devil. I give her my soul and she gives me seven wishes. Only she cheated me out of one of them and I'd like to argue that point with her, but she disappeared and I figured God could help me out."

Quinn gaped at the other girl for a moment. "Let me get this straight. You think you sold your soul to the Devil for seven wishes and now you want God to help you renegotiate with the Devil for a wish you believe you're entitled to?"

"It's slightly more complicated than that, but essentially yes, this is why I need you to take me to your church."

"O...kay...well, I think you definitely need to lay down in the nurse's office and have her call your fathers and maybe an exorcist or something because you're clearly more delusional than we all originally thought. Perhaps you've taken one too many slushy facials and the brain freeze has caused some sort of trauma." Quinn went to reach for Rachel's hand but seemed to think better of it.

"I'm not possessed or suffering head trauma, Quinn. I just really need your help." Rachel dropped to her knees and grabbed Quinn's hand. "Please, just take me to your church. I'll do anything. I'll pay you. I have money. How much do you want? I can give you fifty. I brought that much to school with me today."

The blonde looked around the halls and then down at her. "Rachel, get up. _Get up!_" She said in a stage whisper. "Fine, for fifty bucks, I'll take you wherever you want to go."

Rachel scrambled to her feet quickly, relief flooding her. "Oh thank you, Quinn. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah...just come on before we get caught."

The drive to Quinn's church was quiet, save for the one time the blonde told Rachel not to say or touch anything. Rachel found her tone a little harsh, but she kept her thoughts to herself. After all, Quinn was sort of doing her a favor. They pulled up in front of the church and Quinn escorted her inside. She introduced Rachel to the older woman named Pastor Lucy and then left.

Pastor Lucy was a nice older woman that led Rachel to her office and gave her juice and shortbread cookies before sitting behind her desk and asking Rachel how she could help. Rachel relayed the whole story to Pastor Lucy, who listened intently, only interrupting once or twice for clarification. She kept the details of all of the wishes to a minimum. After all, this was a church, Quinn's church, and she didn't know how well her love of the blonde would be received. Once Rachel was finished telling the story, the pastor expressed that she thought she might be able to help Rachel and excused herself.

Rachel looked around the nicely decorated office. There was a nice couch and a wall where photographs and children's artwork was displayed. It was warm and welcoming, albeit a lot smaller than Rabbi Greenburg's office. She wondered if the two knew each other. Lima was pretty small and she had a cousin who'd married a Christian man. They'd had an interfaith ceremony and she knew for a fact the two officiants of that union had known each other for years prior to it.

The door to the office opened again and Pastor Lucy stepped inside, followed by a police officer. Rachel felt her heart sink. There was no way this was going to end well. Pastor Lucy plastered on a sweet although slightly patronizing smile and moved aside for the officer. "Rachel, this is Officer Brady. He's going to take you to the hospital to get checked out before they call your parents"

"The hospital? I feel fine," Rachel said with a frown.

"I'm sure you do, dear. It's just a precaution. Officer Brady just wants to be sure. They'll have your parents meet you there, okay?"

_Great, there goes my one shot at fixing this mess,_ Rachel thought as she stood from her seat and followed the officer.

Sighing, Rachel sat up in her hospital bed. The doctor and her fathers had both agreed she was suffering some sort of mental breakdown due to stress. She supposed it wouldn't matter. Tomorrow she'd become one of the Devil's minions and wouldn't have to worry about it anyhow.

Santana materialized in the room dressed like a demonic nurse, wearing a red and black skimpy nurse's uniform and holding a clipboard. "Turn over. I want to take your temperature."

"Very funny, Santana. It's your fault I'm in here. I don't really have anything else to say to you." Rachel crossed her arms and looked away.

"Now, don't be like that. I thought we were friends." Santana moved to the bed and sat on the edge. "There's a reason I picked you, Rachel. You could do really well down there. I'll need to replace my second in command. Sue's just getting too big for her britches lately. I thought that somebody could be you. I already own your soul there's nothing you can do about that, but don't you think you should be nicer to me? It couldn't hurt to have me on your side." She stood as there was a knock at the door. "I can't wait to hear your final wish. Tick tock."

The door opened and Brittany walked in wearing a candystriper's uniform. She smiled at Santana as she walked out of the door before turning her smile to Rachel. "Her uniform looked really cool, kind of like the Devil dressed as a nurse."

Rachel scoffed. "Well, you'd be surprised. What's your name this time?" She asked.

"It's Brittany, silly. We've like been in the same grade since the sixth grade, remember? Usually, I am surprised a lot. It's nice that I got to surprise you this time." Brittany moved over to the bed and pulled out a deck of Uno cards. "Do you want to play? This is one of the games I'm really good at. Besides Candyland."

Rachel sighed and nodded. It was nice to see a friendly face and Brittany just had this calming presence. Rachel felt more serene around her than she'd been feeling in days. "Sure, I haven't played Uno in a long time."

The blonde sat on the bed, smoothing a space for them to set up the deck. "I heard you weren't feeling very well. What's wrong?"

"I don't think you'd want to hear what's wrong, Brittany," Rachel said as she grabbed her hand and fanned it out.

"You should try me. I'm a really great listener. It's just a lot of people only want to talk to me with then expect me to do something for them. They never seem to think that sometimes just talking about it will help them figure it out for themselves. Plus, I just like to hear what people have to say," Brittany replied, putting down a card on the pile.

"This is going to make you think I'm crazy," Rachel warned.

Brittany shook her head. "I promise that I've heard lots of stories you couldn't even imagine. I won't think you're crazy."

Rachel studied the blonde for a moment. Something about Brittany just made her want to tell her things and she guessed it couldn't hurt. She _was_ already in the hospital. "Well, you see I'm in love with Qu- this person and I sort of promised the Devil she could have my soul if she helped me get the person I'm in love with. Only every time I made a wish it would all get messed up."

"Uno!" Brittany said excitedly before she tilted her head to the side and look at Rachel. "You must really love that person a lot. Giving your soul away sounds pretty serious."

"I do love her. I love her a lot." Rachel could think of at least twenty things she loved about Quinn right off the top of her head.

"That's great, but maybe the reasons your wishes didn't work is because you can't make someone love you back. God made love to be unconditional, right? I don't think you loved your someone special just because you thought she'd love you back, did you?"

"No, I fell in love with her because she's just...I don't know. She's more amazing than she ever gives herself credit for. I mean she's not perfect or anything, but she tries and I just love her for it."

"She sounds really wonderful, like she deserves lots of love and happiness," Brittany said softly.

"Yeah, she does. She deserves it all." Rachel let the words trail as she considered what Brittany was saying.

"I win!" Brittany exclaimed, clapping happily.

Looking down in surprised, Rachel grinned back. "So you did."

"I told you I was really good at this game." The blonde stood from the bed and straightened her uniform. "Do you feel better?" Rachel nodded. She did feel a lot better. "Good. I have to go see some of the other patients now. You can keep the cards. I have a lot of decks." She took her cart and wheeled it to the door before looking back over at Rachel. "I wouldn't worry about your soul. No one can buy something from you that isn't even really yours. Also, Santana isn't as mean as she pretends to be." With a wink, the blonde walked out of the room.

"Santana!" Rachel called out a few hours later. She'd needed time to figure out her last wish and make sure it would be worded correctly. It was very important.

The girl appeared suddenly by her bed and crossed her arms. "You bellowed?"

"Yes, I've decided on my last wish," Rachel said resolutely.

The familiar gleam appeared in Santana's eyes as she rubbed her hands together. "What will it be? Fortune? Fame? Unrivaled beauty?"

The shorter girl shook her head. "None of that. I just wish for Quinn to be happy. I want her to have everything she could ever want and be happy even if it is without me." Rachel had been so selfish in her wishes and Brittany's visit had served to remind her just why she'd fallen for Quinn in the first place.

Santana stared at her for a moment. "Dammit! Really?" Santana groaned and stepped away.

"What?" Rachel asked with a frown. "What is it?"

"Of course you didn't read the contract. No one ever does. In the contract is a nullification clause. Selfless acts of redemption render the whole contract null and void. You just gave your last wish to Quinn. Dammit, Berry." Santana punched Rachel in the arm lightly.

"Hey!" Rachel rubbed the spot on her arm and gave Santana a disgruntled look. "Wait. Does that mean I get to keep my soul?"

"Unfortunately," Santana answered with a scowl. "You know, I've been doing this for like two billion years and not once has anyone ever given up their last wish. I really hope this isn't going to become some sort of fad. Anyway, now I have to go do paper work. Congrats on keeping your soul or whatever." And with that, she was gone.

The knock on the door drew Rachel's attention. "Come in."

The door opened and she was surprised to see Quinn walk in. "Hi..."

Rachel smiled softly. "Hey."

"Well, I just came by to see how you were doing. They said you have to stay here for a few days. I'm not going to lie. You completely freaked me out earlier and I was sure that I would never want to come near you again, but Brittany called and said you were feeling better. She thought for some reason you'd want to see me." Quinn walked towards her but stopped at the foot of the bed.

"I do feel better. I'll have to tell Brittany thank you, later." Rachel said quietly.

"I just...I'm not even sure why I came. I guess earlier when you came to me asking for help. It reminded me of last year when you were the only person that came up and reached out to me when I'd been so awful to you. I thought maybe it was my turn," Quinn explained, biting her bottom lip.

"Well, you did help me earlier, but I won't say it wouldn't be nice to have you as a friend at least." Rachel would always love Quinn, but if all she could have was friendship, she'd gladly take it.

Quinn nodded and moved a little closer, taking Rachel's hand. "I think friends would be a good place to start. Maybe you could...teach me a few things about being Jewish so that I could teach them to Bethany?"

"I could definitely do that." Rachel agreed, squeezing Quinn's hand.

Somewhere up above two beings watched as the two girls spoke. "I think you're going soft, S," Brittany said with a knowing smirk.

Santana glared. "No, I think you're just making them smarter."

"Maybe I am or maybe you just recognized true love when you saw it. I'm not surprised. I've taught you a lot about it." Brittany pressed a soft kiss to Santana's lips and grinned.

The brunette pulled her closer and took another kiss before stepping away. "Yes, you definitely have."


End file.
